Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand
Hand, the Invisible
Abandon all hope, ye who have come to sacrifice upon this altar!
Dedicated to the memory of Adam Smith, Charles Ponzi, Herbert Hoover and Ebeneezer Scrooge. This is HAND’S only true altar site; any others are mere heretical imitations.
Commandments for the optimal worship of our market Deity, Hand, the Invisible:
Thou shalt not take the name of the great Lord HAND the Invisible in vain, but only to bash those who clamor for economic justice.
Thou shalt not steal, except under cover of contract or economic theory. (An obvious exception – Thou mayst take candy from babies)
Thou shalt not lie, but thou mayst theorize profusely and obscuredly; Thou mayst gongorize, omit to inform; mislead;
and – oh what the Hell – Ye mayst lie like unto rugs!
Thou shalt heap dishonor profusely upon HAND the Invisible’s opponents – Truth, Justice, Beauty, Integrity, and historical and empirical research.
Thou shalt do thy levelest best to keepest the people in poverty and ignorance soest they mayst remain vulnerable to predation.
Thou shalt deny with all thy energy that HAND the Invisible is subjective to manipulation and controlst by his richest worshippers; who use HAND’S laws to procurest undeserved wealth from thy society!
Under the most big penalties, thou mayst never clearly define thy terms of thy theorizings.
Do then these things unto your fellow man and ye shall be rewarded with Professorship and become known as Economist throughout the land. Handelujah! Go forth now ye loyal followers and pollute the earth with thy theories.
NOTICE TO WORSHIPPERS: Hand the Invisible requires more commandments. Suggestions for additional commandments may be respectfully sent to this altar site, for accreditation or anonymously. Testimonials to the wondrous workings of Hand’s sacred laws are also welcome.